This Wednesday at church we learned about talking to God and hearing from Him. This wasn't the originally planned lesson for the night, but it's what we all needed so God made it happen in His own special way. The story of how we got to this in class is really cool, but that's not what this post is about. This post is going to be about an exercise we did in class. It was awesome.
Now, I'm going to tell you all how to do it, and I'm going to encourage you all to do so. I know I said this blog is for me, and not really anyone else. But this is cool.
Okay. Prepare yourself. What you're going to do is ask God a question, and anticipate an answer. Are you ready? The question is...God, if you could play any game with me, what would it be? Why? I promise that if you really listen God will give you an answer. When you get that answer, it's awesome.
I know the question may seem a little dumb. Why would God want to play a game with us? Why do we care what game God wants to play with us? But that's not the point. The point is, God DOES talk to us.
In class, we all shared our answers. How do we know our answers are from God? Simple. Three people got the same answer, and all of us were confused by our answer until God gave us the why.
If you read this, and you got an answer, I would love to hear about it. :) Now I believe I'm going to continue swimming and tanning. Goodbye, and have a blessed day. Love you all.
Friday, May 25, 2012
That Wonderful ACT Test...
I recently got back my scores from my third ACT test. They were awful.
Now, I say they were awful. But were they really? No. Compared to most people's scores, they were great. But I'm not comparing my scores to other people's. I'm comparing them to what I need. Based on the 31 that I must have, they were awful.
Why is it that I need a 31? There are TONS of people who go to college with MUCH lower scores. But it's simple. Those people are one or more of the following.
-Poor
-Rich
-Musically gifted
-Athletically gifted
-Really good at writing essays for scholarships
-Willing to take out student loans
-Going to a college that gives academic scholarships for lower ACT scores
-Many other things that I'm not
So here's my problem. I am none of this. The only category that I may end up falling into is going to a different college. But I really don't want to. I want to go to Lee.
People are always talking about how great the financial aid is at the school they're going to. But I already know that I don't qualify. I'm not saying my family is rich. We aren't. But we make enough money to not qualify for any help. I've never really been one for sports or music. So there goes that. My parents have always taught me to stay away from debt. I've also learned from other people how hard it is to pay off student loans, especially if the field you're studying doesn't pay much. So I'm not taking out loans. I've never really been great at writing essays. I know that even with tuition payed r, I'll still need scholarship money for other things, so I'll need to do some of that. But I won't get enough to pay for everything.
All that leaves me with is two options. Get a 31, or go to a different school. If you know of a third, please let me know.
Now, I say they were awful. But were they really? No. Compared to most people's scores, they were great. But I'm not comparing my scores to other people's. I'm comparing them to what I need. Based on the 31 that I must have, they were awful.
Why is it that I need a 31? There are TONS of people who go to college with MUCH lower scores. But it's simple. Those people are one or more of the following.
-Poor
-Rich
-Musically gifted
-Athletically gifted
-Really good at writing essays for scholarships
-Willing to take out student loans
-Going to a college that gives academic scholarships for lower ACT scores
-Many other things that I'm not
So here's my problem. I am none of this. The only category that I may end up falling into is going to a different college. But I really don't want to. I want to go to Lee.
People are always talking about how great the financial aid is at the school they're going to. But I already know that I don't qualify. I'm not saying my family is rich. We aren't. But we make enough money to not qualify for any help. I've never really been one for sports or music. So there goes that. My parents have always taught me to stay away from debt. I've also learned from other people how hard it is to pay off student loans, especially if the field you're studying doesn't pay much. So I'm not taking out loans. I've never really been great at writing essays. I know that even with tuition payed r, I'll still need scholarship money for other things, so I'll need to do some of that. But I won't get enough to pay for everything.
All that leaves me with is two options. Get a 31, or go to a different school. If you know of a third, please let me know.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mother's Day
Let's start this with a definition.
Mother
A woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother: to be a mother to someone.
Mother's day is a day to honor and celebrate mothers. But there shouldn't have to be a special day set aside for that. We should honor and celebrate mothers everyday. They do so much for us.
Yesterday I was really thinking about how many people are sad on mothers day. It's a reminder for people who lost their mothers, and mothers who lost their children. It's also a sad day for people who don't have good relationships with their mothers and vice versa.
The only time I saw my mom yesterday was when I passed her on the interstate going the other direction. Other than that, I didn't see her at all. But I still love her. Just because I didn't do anything special for her on Mother's day doesn't mean I love her any less.
Mother's day also made me think of all the wonderful women in my life who have been like moms to me at some point in my life. There have been so many. I greatly appreciate all of them.
This post is kind of short, but oh we'll. That's really all I have to say on the matter as of right now.
Mother
A woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother: to be a mother to someone.
Mother's day is a day to honor and celebrate mothers. But there shouldn't have to be a special day set aside for that. We should honor and celebrate mothers everyday. They do so much for us.
Yesterday I was really thinking about how many people are sad on mothers day. It's a reminder for people who lost their mothers, and mothers who lost their children. It's also a sad day for people who don't have good relationships with their mothers and vice versa.
The only time I saw my mom yesterday was when I passed her on the interstate going the other direction. Other than that, I didn't see her at all. But I still love her. Just because I didn't do anything special for her on Mother's day doesn't mean I love her any less.
Mother's day also made me think of all the wonderful women in my life who have been like moms to me at some point in my life. There have been so many. I greatly appreciate all of them.
This post is kind of short, but oh we'll. That's really all I have to say on the matter as of right now.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Need a break?
So if you read my last post, you're probably a little tired of reading. So here's a picture :) I love reading, writing, taking pictures, and posting pictures. Enjoy.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Depression
Before I start this post, I thought it might be a good idea to put a definition of depression. I've been really into definitions lately.
Depression - a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.
to make sad or gloomy; lower in spirits; deject; dispirit.
On Wednesday (5-2-2012) I woke up and about 2 hours later I had somehow become really depressed. There wasn't really anything to set it off. I guess I was just thinking about a lot of stuff, and it made me sad.
Depression isn't new to me. I've struggled with it most of my life. When I was a lot younger, I had a lot more problems. It's gotten much better as I've gotten older. I haven't had to deal with it a lot for the past couple years.
I wouldn't say I've ever been severely depressed. I've known people who had it a lot worse than me. Depression has never caused me to consider suicide, self-harm, drinking, drugs, etc. Its never made me want to completely shut the world out. I've never done anything crazy. But that probably has a lot to do with the fact that anytime I've ever been depressed, I dealt with it immediately.
When I was little and used to become depressed, my mom would notice and would take me to a counselor. My depression then was mostly caused by over worrying about everything. As I got older, I somehow developed a habit of not telling anyone anything. I still have this habit. There are a few people who I tell some things to, but there's still a lot I keep inside. This has meant that when I do become depressed, I have to deal with it myself. I don't tell anyone what's wrong, and people don't notice because I've become so good at hiding it. This brings me to my second way of dealing with it. (The first was my mom taking me to a counselor.)
Before I go on, I just want to add that I feel like this is going to be a really long post. I'm only about halfway through with the backstory. I haven't even started on what happened more recently. But this is just me. When I have something to say, writing is my favorite way to say it. When I write, I just keep writing and writing and writing. I say whatever comes to mind. I'm nothing like this in real life. The reason being, I can always erase what I write, but not what I say. Anyway, back to the topic of this post.
The second way of dealing with depression is Jesus. Jesus has always been there for me. If it wasn't for Him, I know I wouldn't be here today. He has saved my life many times. When it feels like no one is there for me, I know I can always turn to Him.
So. Back to Wednesday. I believe I know what the major point of my depression was. I got to thinking, and when that happens, it doesn't normally turn out good for me. I've always had this idea in my mind that I have to be perfect in everything I do. I don't know why I'm like this, but I am. So on Wednesday it hit me that I wasn't even close to perfect. Now, I know nobody is perfect. But I try to be. The thing that really put me over the edge was thinking about school.
When it comes to school, things get complicated. I'm really good at school. I just don't like doing it. I don't know why. I'm a junior this year. That means I'm almost a senior in high school. I'm going to have to start getting ready for college. Honestly, the thought of that scares the crap out of me. Growing up used to sound so exciting, but now that it's so close, I don't feel ready. That's what scared me.
I want to go to Lee, but the only way I can do that is if I get a full academic scholarship. That's a 31 on my ACT. I have a 26 right now. (or at least until my latest score comes in) That sounds good to most people, but it's not a 31, so I'm not happy with it. If I don't get a 31, I can't go to Lee. Then I don't know what I'll do.
I've had myself convinced that I could get that 31. Recently I was talking with my friends, and they were telling me about all these people they knew who only had like 10's, 12's, 16's, etc. to them, anything over a 20 is great. If most people can barely get over a 20, what makes me think I can get a 31? Maybe it's not as easy as I always thought it would be.
So that started making me depressed. Then, like all depressed people, every negative thing I've ever been told or thought about myself starts coming to mind. And I believe all these things. The truth is, most of them are true. But that doesn't define who I am. We all have problems. Areas in our life that aren't as good as we would like them to be, or as they should be. But that doesn't mean we are all bad people, or failures.
We are all able to receive grace from a loving God. He makes us new. Through Jesus, we have freedom from the bondages of sin and failure. He loves us no matter what. This is what we have to hold on to when we have bad days.
Now, towards the end this post was probably starting to seem scattered. That's mostly due to the fact that I wrote this over a period of 3 days. It's also because I just typed as I thought, and I'm too lazy to read over it and make sense of it.
So there you have. Sorry if it's too long for you. But I didn't write it for you. I wrote it for me. Honestly, I feel so much better now that I've got it all out.
Peace and Love to you all,
Sierra Rose <3
Depression - a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.
to make sad or gloomy; lower in spirits; deject; dispirit.
On Wednesday (5-2-2012) I woke up and about 2 hours later I had somehow become really depressed. There wasn't really anything to set it off. I guess I was just thinking about a lot of stuff, and it made me sad.
Depression isn't new to me. I've struggled with it most of my life. When I was a lot younger, I had a lot more problems. It's gotten much better as I've gotten older. I haven't had to deal with it a lot for the past couple years.
I wouldn't say I've ever been severely depressed. I've known people who had it a lot worse than me. Depression has never caused me to consider suicide, self-harm, drinking, drugs, etc. Its never made me want to completely shut the world out. I've never done anything crazy. But that probably has a lot to do with the fact that anytime I've ever been depressed, I dealt with it immediately.
When I was little and used to become depressed, my mom would notice and would take me to a counselor. My depression then was mostly caused by over worrying about everything. As I got older, I somehow developed a habit of not telling anyone anything. I still have this habit. There are a few people who I tell some things to, but there's still a lot I keep inside. This has meant that when I do become depressed, I have to deal with it myself. I don't tell anyone what's wrong, and people don't notice because I've become so good at hiding it. This brings me to my second way of dealing with it. (The first was my mom taking me to a counselor.)
Before I go on, I just want to add that I feel like this is going to be a really long post. I'm only about halfway through with the backstory. I haven't even started on what happened more recently. But this is just me. When I have something to say, writing is my favorite way to say it. When I write, I just keep writing and writing and writing. I say whatever comes to mind. I'm nothing like this in real life. The reason being, I can always erase what I write, but not what I say. Anyway, back to the topic of this post.
The second way of dealing with depression is Jesus. Jesus has always been there for me. If it wasn't for Him, I know I wouldn't be here today. He has saved my life many times. When it feels like no one is there for me, I know I can always turn to Him.
So. Back to Wednesday. I believe I know what the major point of my depression was. I got to thinking, and when that happens, it doesn't normally turn out good for me. I've always had this idea in my mind that I have to be perfect in everything I do. I don't know why I'm like this, but I am. So on Wednesday it hit me that I wasn't even close to perfect. Now, I know nobody is perfect. But I try to be. The thing that really put me over the edge was thinking about school.
When it comes to school, things get complicated. I'm really good at school. I just don't like doing it. I don't know why. I'm a junior this year. That means I'm almost a senior in high school. I'm going to have to start getting ready for college. Honestly, the thought of that scares the crap out of me. Growing up used to sound so exciting, but now that it's so close, I don't feel ready. That's what scared me.
I want to go to Lee, but the only way I can do that is if I get a full academic scholarship. That's a 31 on my ACT. I have a 26 right now. (or at least until my latest score comes in) That sounds good to most people, but it's not a 31, so I'm not happy with it. If I don't get a 31, I can't go to Lee. Then I don't know what I'll do.
I've had myself convinced that I could get that 31. Recently I was talking with my friends, and they were telling me about all these people they knew who only had like 10's, 12's, 16's, etc. to them, anything over a 20 is great. If most people can barely get over a 20, what makes me think I can get a 31? Maybe it's not as easy as I always thought it would be.
So that started making me depressed. Then, like all depressed people, every negative thing I've ever been told or thought about myself starts coming to mind. And I believe all these things. The truth is, most of them are true. But that doesn't define who I am. We all have problems. Areas in our life that aren't as good as we would like them to be, or as they should be. But that doesn't mean we are all bad people, or failures.
We are all able to receive grace from a loving God. He makes us new. Through Jesus, we have freedom from the bondages of sin and failure. He loves us no matter what. This is what we have to hold on to when we have bad days.
Now, towards the end this post was probably starting to seem scattered. That's mostly due to the fact that I wrote this over a period of 3 days. It's also because I just typed as I thought, and I'm too lazy to read over it and make sense of it.
So there you have. Sorry if it's too long for you. But I didn't write it for you. I wrote it for me. Honestly, I feel so much better now that I've got it all out.
Peace and Love to you all,
Sierra Rose <3
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Why Blog?
Okay, so this is going to be my first post that actually says something important.
The title of this post is "Why Blog?" It should be pretty obvious what it's going to be about.
Now, taking into consideration my popularity level, I'll be surprised if I get more than 5 views on any blog for the duration of my life. But I don't care. I'm not blogging for any of you. Sorry, but it's true. It's really more of a journal for me that anyone can read if they want. If you do happen to be someone who somehow ends up reading this, I'd love to know about it :)
So the reason for me blogging is...life is frustrating. When I get frustrated, what I really want to do it tell people about why I'm frustrated. The only problem is, I'm having a hard time lately finding someone to listen. So I just figured I'd tell the world, and anyone can read about it if they want to.
Now, this may sound a little "life is awful"-ish. But that's just because I've had a rough day. Some days I'm really up beat and happy. I'll probably blog about those days too. Life isn't always depressing :)
The reason I'm blogging instead of just writing in a journal is because I find it much easier to write about life if I feel like I'm writing to somebody.
So there you have it. All the reasons why I'm doing this. My next post will probably be about my day today or something. There's no telling when I'll write it. Maybe in the next hour. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. Who knows. Until then, don't worry. Be happy :)
The title of this post is "Why Blog?" It should be pretty obvious what it's going to be about.
Now, taking into consideration my popularity level, I'll be surprised if I get more than 5 views on any blog for the duration of my life. But I don't care. I'm not blogging for any of you. Sorry, but it's true. It's really more of a journal for me that anyone can read if they want. If you do happen to be someone who somehow ends up reading this, I'd love to know about it :)
So the reason for me blogging is...life is frustrating. When I get frustrated, what I really want to do it tell people about why I'm frustrated. The only problem is, I'm having a hard time lately finding someone to listen. So I just figured I'd tell the world, and anyone can read about it if they want to.
Now, this may sound a little "life is awful"-ish. But that's just because I've had a rough day. Some days I'm really up beat and happy. I'll probably blog about those days too. Life isn't always depressing :)
The reason I'm blogging instead of just writing in a journal is because I find it much easier to write about life if I feel like I'm writing to somebody.
So there you have it. All the reasons why I'm doing this. My next post will probably be about my day today or something. There's no telling when I'll write it. Maybe in the next hour. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. Who knows. Until then, don't worry. Be happy :)
First Blog
This is going to be short, sweet, and to the point.
I finally started a blog!!! Whoo-hoo!!! This is something I've been meaning to get around to for a loooong time. I'll post a longer blog sometime soon, but right now this is the best I can do :) I just wanted to get the first post done and out of the way. The next one will be longer and more thought out. Have a good day :)
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